Stick To What You Know

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I've been too busy to answer the posek (poskenyak is more like it) at dovbear.
Not that I practice this tradition but in defense of those who do:

The Rama (o’h585) states that there are those who visit graves to pray, on erev rosh hasana .The Mishna Brura (127) adds that we should not pray to the dead, rather only ask for Hashem to listen to our prayers, in the merit of the dead.
The Mishna Brura is disagreeing with The Pri Megadem Ashel Avraham (116), and the Mahram Schick (o’h end of #10,293) and the Shu’t Minchas Elazer (1, 68) who feels it is a mitzvah.
In fact we find the Gemara telling of Yosef’s prayer to his dead mother (Tannis 16a),also see sota34b.The Minchas Yitchok (8,53) says that we should write prayers to the dead. Perhaps you would like to see the Eh’lef Hamagen (113) who claims that the dead will help you because they are conscious of our problems. You don’t like that last line, ok then see the Gemara in Brachos (18b) and Tannis (23b) about the Tanna who begs his dead father to help and dad kicks in.

And so I say DovDov stick to what you know!
(OH' AND A GEMAR TOV TO YOU AND YOURS)
-amshinover:if you have nothing nice to say, say it here